The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
I remember when I was dealing with the loss of a loved one. All day long I could not think of anything else. Memories of the times we were together always replayed on my mind. I cannot eat well and sleeping becomes elusive. My friends must have wanted to cover their ears to prevent themselves from listening to my repetitive monologues. When I was alone in my room, I would just lie on my bed for hours staring at the ceiling.
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Yes, I was a walking zombie. Everyday I pulled myself up from bed and dragged myself to take a shower and dress up for work. Work itself becomes a distraction. I cried literally buckets of tears. I knew I was overdoing it, but somehow it worked to lessen the pain.
I appreciated every ounce of comfort that I got from family and friends. But no amount of words eased what I felt inside. I stayed away from listening to songs or watching movies. I did not want to relate to them. They do not entertain me anymore. Instead, it made me feel how lonely and down I was. Sometimes, I bombarded myself with questions of what ifs and shoulda woulda couldas, but no matter how many times I did this, what has happened can never be taken back.
Losing a loved one is hard be it a friend, a lover or a family member. All of us must've experienced this once in our lives. There's this space in our hearts that they have filled and when they've gone away, no matter how teeny wee bit this is or how big this is, we ultimately feel the vacancy. I want to share how I came out of the storm and began to live again after this ordeal.
1. Pray hard and opened my Bible
Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds
I found a bestfriend in Jesus. I took refuge in His words. There was this thirst within me that I did not know how to quench. Comforting words were what I found in the Bible, especially from my favorite book - Psalms. The persons who have written Psalms were also faced with grief, fear and frustration and was calling out to God for help. At the same time, they praised Him for all the things He's done. I prayed really hard for him to deliver me, to make me strong to withstand what I am facing. I know the Lord is faithful to me and I confirm He did not fail me.
2. Talk it out
I offered my story to my close friends and found out that they had a similar story too. It made me feel normal and less alone. They must have felt what I did in some point of their lives and came out okay. I welcomed their advices but cannot keep them all. Talking it out became a therapy.
3.Take time mourning
I did not deny myself from mourning my loss and accepting this season of my life. Having a background about the stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) somehow signalled that I will be ok soon. But first, I still have to undergo each phase and get a hold of myself. I saw a quote once that says: If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble - Moliere.
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4. Going out and travel more
Going out at night is usually not my style. But this time, I need to be distracted. Dinner and hang out with friends were accepted with ease. I also provided attention to planning my next travel. Travelling has always been my passion. The thought of travelling made me excited and forget for a while of what I have been going through. Travel planning and preparation took my time and exhausted me to the point that I am able to eat and sleep.
5. Exercise
Jogging was not on my list before nor exercising. But the more I stayed in bed, the more weak I became. Exercise has long been known to cause the release of endorphins. These endorphins are the body's natural pain medication. Aside from exercise being a distraction, it makes you feel good afterwards.
We all have different styles on how we cope with life and its not-so-nice surprises. The most important thing is to believe that we can come out from the dark triumphantly. To those who are currently grieiving and experiencing loss, I pray you find comfort and courage to withstand this season.
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